The Transience of Expat Life- A Musing

When you live abroad (wherever that is) you find that things are constantly shifting.People are constantly coming and going.Many people come here for a short while and they move on.We came to China 3 years ago and we have moved to another city,leaving behind people we met,had a great time with and then said goodbye to.In Lin’an we made some great friends,but at the end of the year we had to say goodbye to them as we moved on to Xiamen, not knowing if we would see them again.Some we have managed to stay in contact with,some we have seen – one colleague came to live here, our “Chinese daughter” Ting and her boyfriend Computer Boy came down here last year in May for the holiday , and we chat a lot on Skype,but staying in contact is hard, and it’s certainly not the same as when she dropped by our apartment for supper most days.

Image

Ting and Computer Boy on their visit to Xiamen University

When we arrived in Xiamen we made a wonderful friend called Ivy who helped us out many times reading stuff in Chinese and showing us around town.But she got another job up in Tianjin and went there.I can chat to her on WeChat but it’s not the same as hanging out together in a new coffee bar in Xiamen or going together to a party…I can’t blame her.She got a great job and she said that “Northern boys are better than the ones here”.. so bye bye Ivy.

Image

Lovely Ivy at one of our favourite Xiamen Coffee bars.

So all the time we meet people,have a great time with them and then say goodbye.Many expats actually prefer this lifestyle.They want the casualness of life here,the lack of obligation,the “no strings attached” side to it.And it does have its appeal.WE always know that new people will be coming.There is a 5 year rule in China that after 5 years you are supposed to move to a new school.It is sometimes enforced and sometimes not.In some areas you cannot teach after 60 or 65 (retirement age for Chinese is 50 for women and 55 for men) so every year we are wondering who will not be invited back.Of course there are always people looking to move to a new area or to return home too.Last year we said goodbye to Renee and Barry our dear friends from Hawaii.James and his wife Wenxia went back to Canada,Karen and Lazar and their daughters back to Australia,Jonathan and Allie and their daughters to El Paso, and so it goes on.You meet people you have fun you move on.WE even have people who “do a runner” and disappear into the night for various reasons.No goodbyes there!

Image

Friends from Lin’an Diana,Barry,Renee and Patrick

At this time of year the situation is pretty complicated.The universities are looking to renew contracts with some teachers and fire others.Many teachers have not given the school a reply whether they intend to stay or not.Some are undecided whether to move schools.Others are going home.They school may wish to fire some teachers but don’t know yet how many they will need as other teachers have not replied about renewing the contract.So of course we know we are going to be saying goodbye again this summer to many people,and that is all part of the nomadic life we have been leading.It’s great to meet lots of new people but sometimes it’s hard knowing that our paths may not cross again.But then, we kind of like the dynamic aspect of it too.It’s all par for the course when you move around a lot.What do you think? Would that kind of lifestyle flummox you? Or are you up for meeting people,getting friendly and then letting go?Feel free to comment!

Image

Wonderful colleagues from Lin’an-Ted,Ding,Teresa and “Chinese Mark”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s